corey's hall of bad hair

Short people -- unless they've done something very, very wrong in a previous life -- tend to have good hair. I call this the Height/Hair Compensatory Ratio. But just because someone has good hair does not mean he knows how to do good things with it...

1
    My troubles began with a cereal bowl...

2     ...and worsened. Please, someone. All this milk money is burning a hole in my pocket.

3     Laugh all you want, it wasn't funny to me. I was 18 years old in this photo.

4
 Nothing says cool like a center-parted, feathered coif and pencil-darkened mustache.

5
    No. 1 with a mullet. 		6
     Ah, the drunken college bad-hair years. Shh, not many people know about the nosejob. 		7
      Guess who Mullethead met once? Yes, it's true. That really is Eric Becker from Hewlett, Long Island on the right. The guy on the left had a mullet in the '70s. But he knew enough to restyle by the '80s. Not me.
8
    Hey, wow, I don't look short next to Davy Jones of the Monkees! But I don't look good, either. This was a (thankfully) short-lived period. 		9
 Every day was a bad-hair day in 1988. 		10
       Proof that not everyone who plays guitar in a band gets laid. (I still have that jacket.)
11
What better way to correct for short-in-front/long-in-back than by committing the exact opposite hair mistake? In defense of the John Cougar thing, though, I did dig it...		 12
 ... until it started doing this all the time. Plus, it was more of a Flock of Seagulls thing anyway. 		13
      When I caved in and decided to start growing all my hair long, I suddenly became a babe magnet. Here I am with Cindy one night after having sex (with myself. Oh, and one of us is bending down so we look the same height.)
14
        My locks grew so long, I was forced to join the hair-metal band Poison. (P.S. Those were my clothes, not my mom's. I was proud at the time.)		 15   Not everyone was into my Jeff Spiccoli look. Check out how embarrassed my good friend Stefan Adika is to be seen with hippie Corey. (Even wearing THAT shirt, he's embarrassed!)

Vote for your favorite bad hair

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Results

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            Life with this do was holding me back.                  But one does not quit long hair cold turkey.     

 

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       So, do I look cute pretending to be a florist.?                   "Son, are you gay? You can tell me."

      

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